Funny Games 🥚 // The Wicker Man 🪵 // Midsommar 💐

Happy Thursday! Sure Halloween is 164 days away, but let’s talked about horror — with a summer twist. Here are four horror movies that’ll have you thinking maybe I shouldn’t go on that isolated vacation in the woods.

In movie news: A dark comedy about the making of Tobe Hooper’s masterpiece slasher The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (and one of my favorite movies of all time) is in the works. The film is based on the book Chain Saw Confidential, which was written by Leatherface himself Gunner Hansen.

Enjoy the beautiful weekend! Do something lifechanging. Or don’t. Living in the moment is fine too.

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Funny Games 🥚

▶︎ Streaming on HBO Max

Georg (Ulrich Mühe), his wife Anna (Susanne Lothar), their son Georgie (Stefan Clapczynski), and their dog Rolfi arrive at their lakeside vacation home for a week of relaxation. However, when Paul (Arno Frisch) and Peter (Frank Giering) arrive, their weekend becomes anything but. Here’s the trailer.

Arno Frisch and Frank Giering in Funny Games. Courtesy of HBO Max.

Why it’s great: Funny Games might be an uncomfortable experience, but it’s impossible to turn away from the screen once it gets going. The movie’s slow-burn pace never feels sluggish as Paul and Peter’s games become more sadistic and the family’s attempts at survival more fleeting. It’s a lean and mean horror-thriller that clearly has more on its mind, but it’s never overindulgent. There’s also a shot-for-shot English remake directed by Haneke himself, which is just as good as the original. 109 mins.

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The Wicker Man 🪵

▶︎ Streaming on Prime Video

Police sergeant Neil Howie (Edward Woodward) makes his way to isolated Summerisle island to search for a missing girl. The locals don’t seem in a hurry to find her and are wary of his investigation, especially with the upcoming May Day celebrations. Howie is undeterred and uncovers that there may be more to the celebrations than meets the eye. Here’s the trailer.

The Wicker Man. Courtesy of Prime Video.

Why it’s great: The Wicker Man may not be the original folk horror movie, but it’s certainly the most essential. Relying on a mood and atmosphere more than scares, the movie slowly unravels the mystery that reveals itself when it’s too late. While the mystery at the center is what holds your attention, it’s the small details happening in the background that make it fascinating. You know something is wrong and it becomes your job to figure it out. 88 mins.

Note: Please DO NOT mistakenly watch the Nicolas Cage remake. Not the bees!

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Midsommar 💐

After a tragedy, Dani (Florence Pugh) travels to Sweden with her boyfriend (Jack Reynor) and his friends to attend a summer festival in a remote village. However, as these trips always go, things are not as they seem as the festival’s activities turn from weird to disturbing. Here’s the trailer.

Florence Pugh in Midsommar. Courtesy of A24.

Why it’s great: Midsommar is not for the faint of heart as anyone who has watched director Ari Aster’s film debut Hereditary probably realizes. Aster mines tension, unsettling imagery, and suspense to make Midsommar a terrifying experience. And while I wouldn’t suggest it for a horror novice, there’s more to the story.

Midsommar is about, among many things, toxic relationships, trauma, grief and how we cope. While Dani’s coping may not be the most healthy, the experience of watching the movie is as beautiful and cathartic as it is disturbing and horrifying. One of the best movies of last year. 127 mins.

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See it, Stream it, or Skip It: Army of the Dead 🎰

Bringing back everyone’s favorite game: See it, Stream it, or Skip it. I watch a new release and tell you whether to see it in theaters (if you’re vaccinated), stream it on Netflix, or skip it entirely. Today’s contestant: Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead.

After an outbreak of hyperintelligent zombies overcomes the city of Las Vegas, a group of misfits led by Scott (Dave Bautista) attempt to pull off a heist that will leave them hitting the jackpot or staying in Vegas… indefinitely.

My review: Zack Snyder’s debut film Dawn of the Dead was perhaps one of the best if not the best in the wave of early aughts horror remakes because of its perfectly measured horror-comedy tone and genuine moments of fright. The same can’t be said for Army of the Dead. Though it begins fun enough with a Zombieland-level montage of zombies taking over Las Vegas — appropriately set to “Viva Las Vegas” — the movie is unable to decide on a focus.

We could dive into the intricately plotted world of smart zombies that have taken over the city. Or focus on executing the madcap heist of hundreds of millions of dollars stowed away in a casino’s vault. Or keep the movie as a light character-focused piece with moments of development that keep you invested. Instead, it does all and none of it. There are moments of fun action — particularly one set inside a casino — and memorable characters — Matthias Schweighöfer’s Dieter is a highlight — but it’s never as good as you want it to be.

Verdict: I’m split here. Is this a good movie? No. But was it entertaining enough? Sure. So, save your money and stream it. However, this movie would have slayed with a crowd in a pre-pandemic world.

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📽 P.S. You can see every movie I’ve ever recommended right here.
🍅 I’m also a Tomatometer-approved critic on Rotten Tomatoes! You can find new movie reviews here and here.